Not-So-Stupid Questions: How To Feel In Your Body
Questions to consider:
Do you feel your body?
Do you feel in your body?
What is your body feeling?
What are the sensations in your body?
I have a hard time feeling present in my body.
I had divorced my body in preference of the defenses that my brain offered.
I divorced my body because of shame.
Shame of what a woman’s body is for. We're told we're only as good as our body can be used, or only as good as it's virginal. A girl feels that growing up.
Shame of my body’s shape and size. The thickness of my legs. The inescapable thickness. Until I learned that thick is not bad. Thick is sturdy and healthy. Thick is beautiful, curvy, strong.
Shame from the dangerous things that can be done to my body. Grabbed. Groped. Forced.
Another question to consider:
What are some reasons you may have divorced your body?
It’s no wonder that psychological and physical symptoms are so related.
A stomach ache in the pit of my stomach can be stress.
Fatigue fogging my mind can be depression.
A jittery, restless tick can be anger.
So I learned to live outside of my body. I thought by ignoring it, it would disappear. I thought by lacquering it with substances, it would go numb. I thought by refusing to listen to the pain and the aches, I could remain strong. A strong mind, that’s all I needed.
But what about a strong body?
I'm learning to be more embodied as I behold my body not as a useless shell, but as an essential part of me.
By giving attention to every nook and cranny of my body.
By tuning my mind to listen to my body, because my body sure listens to my mind.
By infusing activities with body awareness: yoga to stretch, CBD to become still, tactile stimuli to get grounded.
By acknowledging the pain and discomfort in my body.
By grasping gritty, delicious dirt in my hands.
By pampering my body: massages to encounter touch, skin care regimen to slow down, and fizzy drinks to feel sensation.
By breathing in this body, because it's a living, enchanting thing.
How do you feel present in your body?
How do you integrate your body as part of your whole self, loved in all capacities?